Monday, May 30, 2011

Concerts and 5Ks

Yesterday was an eventful day for me. I haven't had such an exciting day in quite some time. In the morning, Eryn and I ran in the Capital City 5K race.

Neither of us were there to race, so it was enjoyable to just go and have fun. Unfortunately, my allergies got the best of me and I ended up panting the entire 3.1 miles. I am thankful for Eryn, who stuck with me the whole time. On any other day that wasn't gloomy and humid, we could have done better. My allergies prevented me from breathing properly most of the way, so I had to take it slow.

Last night, Eryn and I went to the Taylor Swift concert. After sitting in the wrong seats and blaming it on the girl next to me, we moved to another section. The section we ended up in was much better. I'm glad we moved. :)

We were both disappointed with the concert. I have been to over a dozen concerts and this was the worst, but the most expensive (now tell me how that works.) Anyway, she didn't talk to the crowd between songs much, over exaggerated every move she made on stage, and sounded horrible. She put on a good show, with a lot of effects and what-not, so it was not a waste of time by any means. Plus, I love singing to music, no matter what its quality may be, so I still enjoyed myself during the concert.

Since today is Memorial Day, Eryn and I had the day off. After driving to her to work to find the fitness center was closed, we drove back to our apartment. Our last option was running outside in the 80 degree weather. Once we got started, it wasn't so bad when we took it slow. But by the end, we were both a mess nobody would like to see.

I was also more sore than I expected to be today. I am rarely sore because I run daily, so a 5K would have been nothing new for me. But that's okay, I persevered.

What an awesome word. Perseverance. While running today, I realized that is one thing I struggle with in life. Starting something and completing it all the way through, regardless how hard it may be. Running has helped with this, so if I continue running, maybe I will become persevering in other aspects of my.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Facebook, Caribou, and Dove Chocolate Wrappers


Today was a wonderful day. Here's a list of things that went right:
  • I got off work 2 hours early. Plus, today marks the start of a 3-day weekend.
  • I now have access to Facebook on my work computer for "recruiting" purposes. Enough said.
  • I had my Caribou Northern Lite Cooler right before work. The caffeine made me super productive all day. It was lovely.
  • The maintenance guy, Ryan, fixed the broken kitchen outlet, window seal, tub caulking, kitchen overhead light and closet doors. I no longer have to live like a barbarian.
  • I am officially going back to doing recruiting at my job instead of secretarial work. Basically, I now have interaction with other humans and I can read as many resumes as my heart desires.
  • Eryn and I found an awesome laundromat that is all high-tech and actually cleans our clothes. Bingo.
  • I had an amazing workout this morning. Ran a 5k, lifted, core work, then cooled off with another mile. I was super motivated.
  • I purchased my first Groupon. I have been subscribed for almost six months and finally found something worth purchasing.
I am so blessed with all of the wonderful people God has placed my life. Plus, I live with my best friend, who understands me better than I understand myself. My friends at church are so supportive and genuinely interested in how my life is going. My parents do everything they can and then some from 326 miles away (yes, I googled it.)

I guess that's all I have for tonight.

"Blessings only come to those who notice." -Dove Chocolate Wrapper

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Simple Light

Here's the deal: I am a good sleeper. I bet my parents loved raising me when I first came home from the hospital, because I am sure I slept well.

I can fall asleep in probably 5 minutes on a bad night, probably 3 minutes on average. I really don't even have to be tired, I can just fall asleep on the spot. Also, I can sleep on almost any surface in almost any position. Pretty much, I can sleep no matter what the condition.

Since I finally unpacked my room, I had trouble falling asleep. And not just trouble for me, but trouble for the average human. Take Sunday night for instance: I finally fell asleep just after 6 a.m. knowing I had work in the morning and things to get done. I couldn't explain why I just couldn't sleep.

Monday night was a similar story. I played musical sleeping surfaces with the futon, my bed, and the loveseat. I finally conked out on the futon and the rest of the night was history.

Last night, I was determined to get to the problem to my insomnia. What on Earth could be causing it? I gave up after trying to think of the problem, hoping I could fall asleep somehow. As I lay my head on my pillow, I realized I was extremely annoyed by the lights on my printer, flashing right into my eyes.

So, as a rational person, I got up to turn off my printer, thus killing the little "power" light. I sat back down in bed and I must have fallen asleep in minutes, sleeping through the night.

I decided to hook up my printer on Sunday, so the light was on from Sunday through Tuesday, which may explain why I couldn't sleep. I'll have no idea whether that was the actual culprit until I try to get to sleep tonight.

I'll laugh if that was the problem. With my wide range of sleeping conditions, I would be shocked if a tiny light kept me awake at night.

UPDATE: Three days later, I am sleeping like a baby every night. La luz estupido.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Using the "Hint" Button

While playing Mah-Jong tonight, I got stuck with maybe 30 tiles left. After searching for a pair for what seemed like several minutes, I gave up. Luckily, the makers of Mah-Jong were nice enough to offer a hint option, in case you get stuck, like I did. By simply tapping the H key on the keyboard, two matching tiles will highlight for you, telling you their exact location. It's nice when you feel you have exhausted all other resources.

Sometimes I feel like life would be so much easier with a hint option. Don't know what major(s) to declare in college, press your hint button, and a major jumps out at you, so you know exactly what the next right move is.

Don't know who you should date or not date, just tap the hint button and the right guy walks right past you, leaving the guesswork out of careless dating.

Don't know whether to stay at your current job, where you aren't challenged or doing the work you would like to be doing? But, you were so fortunate to obtain the job and know you beat many others for it, so you feel obligated to stay. Press the hint button, and it tells you where to go with your career, in an instant.

How easy would life be like that?

At times, many times, I love the idea of an instant revelation of my destiny, but I know it isn't why God placed us here on Earth. He placed us here to figure these things out for ourselves, while relying on His glory to get through the tough times. The hardest part is remembering that life wasn't meant to be easy, no matter what your beliefs are.

Heres the deal: I have a couple of decisions to make, that I feel are going unanswered at the moment. Obviously, God isn't ready for these decisions to be made just yet. So unfortunately, I have to play to my weaknesses and learn patience. Ha ha...sometimes I feel patience is a four-letter word.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Sleepy Head

I'm so tired right now, I'm acting like a little kid who doesn't want to go to bed. I am so giddy and delusional, I am laughing at anything that can keep me awake. Not to mention, I am blasting 30h!3 just to keep myself up.

Why am I so tired, you may ask?

Well, last night, my body decided it wanted me to see the sun rise, so I up until after 6a.m. trying to fall asleep. I am not sure why I couldn't sleep, because I was exhausted. I slept through all of my alarms and got up at 10:30 for work at 11:30. It was a close call. Needless to say, my plans of working out, showering, packing a lunch, and picking up the dry cleaning were out of the question.

I shall throw in the towel and say good night world. I'll be around tomorrow as well. :)

Working and Working Out

I am ready to go back to work. There. I said it. I am sick of being bored at home, doing absolutely nothing for a majority of the day. There's only so many times you can work out in a day before it gets ridiculous.

Though I wish I enjoyed my job more, maybe things will change. I am starting back up with the summer interns, so I hope things will be different for me. I hope to be so busy I can't even keep my head on straight. I hope to meet all of the new interns and help them with whatever they need. That's my hope.

I am also looking forward to starting my new work out plan. Oh boy! I've decided to run a 5k tomorrow then lift for probably half an hour or so, then cool off with a mile jog on the treadmill. My goal is to do this everyday for a while until I am ready to train for the half marathon.

Wow, just typing half marathon is a little scary. I can't lie. I am scared that I won't finish. I mean, the most I've run continuously is 4 miles. But goodness, 13 miles is a stretch. I know I need to get the mindset that I can do it, so maybe that's what training will do for me.

Well, I should get some sleep so I can get up and start my first day back at work. I'm like a little kid before going to Disneyland. Just so excited. :)

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Decisions, Decisions

My biggest problem these days meet at one location. A simple problem that many can overcome, but not me. The problem I am facing is making decisions and sticking with them.

For instance, when deciding what I want to do for the rest of my life, I struggle with what I want to do and what I think God wants me to do, and what I think will support a family. Now, I've found things that fit what I want to do and what will support a family, but not what God wants me to do.

The best example is going into Psychology. I LOVE learning about what makes us tick, and one day, learning how to help others with their problems. However, there is a drawback. I would have to compromise a family if I want to go into Psychology. After Drake, I'd have at least 5 years of school, plus at least 2 years of residency before I could even practice. Not to mention, building a client base and getting skilled in my field.

So let's do the math: I'll be 22 when I graduate from Drake. Tack on 5 - 7 years of graduate school, 29. Add 2 more years of residency: 31. Then, I can worry about a family. Nu uh. This is what made me unsure that God wanted me in Psychology. I want a family and I feel that's what God wants for me as well, more than a career that I feel I want for me.

If I were to do college all over again, I'd go into Psychiatry. That way, I'd have 12 years of school after high school, but I'd be prepared for that. I could start a family during my four years of residency and still be able to prescribe medicine in the end. Oh well.

Now, I am focusing on graduating from Drake and going to grad school for my MBA in Marketing, a total of 2 years. That puts me at 24 after grad school, definitely a reasonable age to end school. Plus, I can work full time during grad school, so I can support myself while studying. It's a win-win. After I'm out, I plan to work in consumer behavior, researching why people make the purchases they do. Specifically, what kind of food marketing out there drives young men and women to delve into eating disorders. I know it's super specific, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Then, of course, I'd love to have a family and open a bakery with Eryn around 40 or so. Just for something different, exciting, and something I absolutely love.

However, getting married falls into the plan somewhere. Not sure when, not sure where, not sure how, but I hope it happens. The indecisiveness in me still makes me question who is this guy and what am I really looking for. Goodness, that is something I really wish God made easier for us.

For now, I'm stuck in the guessing game. I can't lie, it's kind of fun. ;)

Friday, May 20, 2011

the Small Things in Life

I am blessed with the relationships in my life. Everything about interacting with others is fascinating to me. Meeting new people. Catching up with old friends. Spending time with newer friends.

What about the simple things in life that are amazing? A nice run on a brisk morning. A newly lit candle that smells like vanilla. Baking brownies on a rainy afternoon. Watching Modern Family or The Office every week. Being around those who share the same beliefs as me. I could go on and on.

Today was just an average day. I baked for Clarity, but other than that, just average. I was still in a daze from spending time with a certain someone yesterday, but that usually goes away within a day or so. But what made today so amazing was actually what happened after 8 p.m.

Clarity was amazing tonight. I had a wonderful time speaking honestly with fellow Christians who are dealing with the same things I am. We had such a great discussion tonight. I felt so comfortable sharing my heart, which is something that rarely happens to me. Not to mention, I learned about others who I didn't know much about.

I came back home, thinking I would go to bed and wake up for another day. Instead, I got a phone call from a friend who I dearly miss from home. I never thought I would miss someone so much that wasn't in my family, but I do. I am beginning to realize what friendship truly means. I want more days exactly like today. Beginning, middle and end. Well, throw in a job that I love and I'd have it all.

But that goes against what God wants for us. At Clarity, we talked about doing God's will instead of our own, which is one of the hardest things for me to do as a Christian. As with everyone else on this temporary home we call Earth, I am not perfect. I don't try to be. I try to live every day, every moment, for Christ, in hopes that someone's life will be changed because of it. That's all I ask.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Right on Track

I walked to campus from my apartment today, to gauge how long a walk to class will be next semester. With no stoplights, it was 15 solid minutes of walking. Since I have a tendency to be late and a tendency to attract all things that make me late -er, next semester will be a challenge.

I met with my Psychology advisor today and found out great news. I am right on track to graduate in 4 years! My final three semesters will consist of 15, 15 and 12 credit hours. Pretty nice! Of course, I will take more because that's the way I am, but the option is still nice.

This semester, however, is going to be a challenge for me. For one, I am enrolled in 17 credit hours so far. This consists of 3 upper level Psych classes, and 1 upper level marketing class. Included in the upper level psych classes is Psych Assessment. Why on earth do I like to challenge myself? This class will require waaaaay more out of me than any class so far. GRRRREEAAT. Oh Kaila.

On the bright side, I can still obtain my goal of making magna cum laude (3.9-4.0 gpa.) That's my goal for graduation. Two 3.8 semesters, two 4.0 semesters, so far, I am at the lower end. However, the next four semesters will be 4.0s and I'll have nothing to worry about. :)

My plans after college change constantly. Since this time last year, my mind has gone in this progression:
  1. Work at an advertising firm working the marketing department
  2. Get my MD to become a Psychiatrist
  3. Bet my Ph.D to become a psychologist specializing in eating disorders
  4. Get my MBA in Marketing and work in consumer behavior
One day, I'll find where God wants me. I feel like I'm getting further from what He wants for me, but what do I know? Ideally, I would LOVE to become a psychologist, but that means the next two years of college will be the worst two years of my life. I don't want that. I've already gone through the worst year of my life, I don't want another two.

Until next time, stay classy folks.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I'm a Big Kid Now


The last couple of days have been full of fun and firsts. My mom and dad came up on Friday and helped us move in. What an adventure that was! It was sprinkling all day, but that was so much better than blistering heat! It was so nice to see my parents again. We took them out to dinner Friday night and it was wonderful. I miss my parents more than I lead on. I feel like I grew up too quickly.

If you would have told me the day I left Missouri for college Freshman year would be the last time I'd live in Missouri, I'd say you were crazy. God works in unpredictable ways and I truly appreciate every surprise around the corner. Who knows what this summer alone will bring!

Sadly, my dad left Saturday afternoon and my mom left Monday morning, so the time was limited. I had a wonderful time with both parents, but it wasn't long enough. I'll be home for the 4th of July for a week or so to see my family again. I already can't wait!

Since my mom left on Monday, Eryn and I have organized our apartment and started decorating. Though it is pretty bare so far, it feels like home. It's a weird feeling knowing I am responsible for my life now; my food, shelter, clothing, everything. I pretty much did that since I got my first job at 16, my I always had my mom to bail me out if I needed it. Now, my name is on the lease and it's my responsibility. I can't believe it.

I have a couple more days off work and I am excited to have the time off. This semester was unnecessarily busy. I am looking forward to a couple days of relaxation. I cannot wait.

Goals for the summer:

1. Start and finish 5 books.
2. Run/train for my half-marathon in October.
3. Eat healthfully once again.
4. Spend more time with friends.
5. Spend more one-on-one time with God.

Well, that's all I have for now! More to come soon!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Life is Becoming More Real

A lot of things changed for me tonight. The first, Osama's death, marked a milestone for the United States. A couple of things have come from this. The first, that this is going to be an event where people ask one another, "where were you when you found out about Osama Bin Ladin's death?" I, personally, was in a vitaminwater AMA meeting finalizing our BIG presentation to Coke tomorrow.

The second thing that arises from this is fear. For me, fear for those who do not know Christ. I am realizing, day by day, that the end is near. Things like this, where the USA has found justice in a time of strife, is something that could mark the beginning of the end. It is scary to think of for myself as well, because I know I must change things in my life NOW.

I have not been devoted to my bible like I should be. Not at all. I am so distant from God right now that I cannot understand why I am still functioning. But that is changing RIGHT NOW. I have placed false idols (food, studying) in the way of worshiping and praising God. That is not what God wants for me or any of his children. He wants us to be disciples and spread his joyful message. He wants us to read His word so that we can develop that personal relationship with Him. He wants us to put Him first, because it is the least we can do for the sacrifices Jesus made on the cross for us.

So why is it soooooooo hard for me?

This, I must pray about. I must worship God to the fullest and learn to love others daily.

Love.

I have said this word to three people in my life: my mom, my dad, and my first love. I don't just throw this word around. But I see so many younger people today use it like it is their favorite color. I wish we would respect that word because it carries a great deal of emotion alongside it.

However,

God calls us to love one another. Love our enemies. And, I do not. I struggle loving my twin sister daily. Growing up, love was something I had to earn from my parents, thus others had to earn from me. That is not what God teaches. I am turning over a new leaf and going a week without verbalizing a single negative thing about another person. This is going to be tough, but it shouldn't be. If I am verbalizing bad things often, I am thinking about them even more. Baby steps.