Life is Becoming More Real

A lot of things changed for me tonight. The first, Osama's death, marked a milestone for the United States. A couple of things have come from this. The first, that this is going to be an event where people ask one another, "where were you when you found out about Osama Bin Ladin's death?" I, personally, was in a vitaminwater AMA meeting finalizing our BIG presentation to Coke tomorrow.

The second thing that arises from this is fear. For me, fear for those who do not know Christ. I am realizing, day by day, that the end is near. Things like this, where the USA has found justice in a time of strife, is something that could mark the beginning of the end. It is scary to think of for myself as well, because I know I must change things in my life NOW.

I have not been devoted to my bible like I should be. Not at all. I am so distant from God right now that I cannot understand why I am still functioning. But that is changing RIGHT NOW. I have placed false idols (food, studying) in the way of worshiping and praising God. That is not what God wants for me or any of his children. He wants us to be disciples and spread his joyful message. He wants us to read His word so that we can develop that personal relationship with Him. He wants us to put Him first, because it is the least we can do for the sacrifices Jesus made on the cross for us.

So why is it soooooooo hard for me?

This, I must pray about. I must worship God to the fullest and learn to love others daily.

Love.

I have said this word to three people in my life: my mom, my dad, and my first love. I don't just throw this word around. But I see so many younger people today use it like it is their favorite color. I wish we would respect that word because it carries a great deal of emotion alongside it.

However,

God calls us to love one another. Love our enemies. And, I do not. I struggle loving my twin sister daily. Growing up, love was something I had to earn from my parents, thus others had to earn from me. That is not what God teaches. I am turning over a new leaf and going a week without verbalizing a single negative thing about another person. This is going to be tough, but it shouldn't be. If I am verbalizing bad things often, I am thinking about them even more. Baby steps.