No Time for Stress in my Life

I need to clear my head and it seems writing is a temporary solution to this problem. I have been extremely stressed lately and my health is suffering from this. I can't continue on this path because there are long-term consequences that could result.

I have too many things to worry about, but I'd rather not talk about them. When I do, it seems my stress level escalates, which is never a good thing. I am starting a program tomorrow to see what I can do to reduce my stress level.

The funny thing is, if I were to explain what is making me stressed, many would probably laugh. I have very few things to worry about in life, seriously. I have been so blessed that I guess I don't know how to handle small stresses in my life. I am ready to make a healthy change in my life.

What is also funny, is that I have contemplated seeing a therapist about reducing anxiety in my life. I looked up Psychologists in the area, and to my surprise, they charge roughly $100 per 50 minute session. Wow-za that is a lot of dough. I definitely cannot afford that. However, I plan to be on the other side of that in a couple of years, so I cannot complain. I will be relying on that for my income in the future.

Boy I can't wait to graduate from grad school and get my life on the road. How awesome will that be? I just found out today that I will be able to graduate in four years with a double degree in Psychology and Marketing. Yay! This is the best news I could have received. Iowa State Psychology program, here I come!

You Stay the Same Through the Ages

Sometimes I just wish I had all of the answers. I wish I could see into the future before any decision I make, just to assess the consequences. Why do I worry, with God always there. I am reminded of a line in the song Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture:

"You make all things work together for my good."

Yet still I worry. One example I can think of clearly is my recent purchase of a new car. At the time, during the summer, I really thought I needed another car. I mean, I am 19 years old, I think I have worked hard enough to have a car to my name. So, my greediness, and fear of being stranded sometime, convinced my mind I needed another car. So I bought one. Problem solved.

Since the purchase, one thing after another after another has come up, causing my money supply to diminish. I wonder if God is telling me that choice was entirely selfish and I should have been content with what I had. Now I am with two cars, only one of which I can drive at any given time, leaving another one in the parking lot. I realize Eryn and I have needed two cars probably a handful of times since the car purchase, but it hasn't been too serious.

So, I sit here, on a Saturday night, wondering what if because of the car.

In other news, the Drake volleyball team is AWESOME. Eryn, Kody, Mary, Bill, and I went to see a game last night versus Bradley. Oh my word, I cannot describe how much I miss volleyball after watching them play. Eryn and I commented on the entire game, from good plays to bad, like we knew everything about the game.

Then I think, why on Earth did I stop playing cold turkey? I loved playing in high school, regardless of my inability to play well. I can set a decent set every once in a while and get lucky on an ace serve. Other than that, I just purely enjoyed the competition. I have decided, if I have a daughter that is relatively tall, I will toss around the idea for her to try volleyball. If she doesn't like it, that's completely fine. But if she likes it, I can live vicariously through her, right?

:) With that I say, "there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning."

Summer Plans

So far this week, I have had more free time than the entire school year thus far combined. In other words, I have had the time to read a magazine, just because, read my bible any time of the day, and watch a TV show when it actually aired on TV. What a concept.

Through part of my time, I have found an executable idea for this summer. Eryn referred me to www.etsy.com, a website where entrepreneurs can sell their crafts, baked goods, etc. It's like a crafty craigslist. A lightbulb went off in my mind.

I LOVE to bake. It doesn't matter what, I just love doing it. Other people love to eat baked goods. I love to eat healthy, thus bake healthfully. There is a health movement going on in society right now. Putting everything together, I think I could sell baked goods made of healthier ingredients, but not compromising taste.

Over the summer, I generally have more time to spend baking, and I have less income. Thus, I could build my own commerce site where I can sell my baked goods to anyone who would like them. If anything, I would enjoy designing the website and gain more experience in the business world. Not to mention, with Eryn's help, neither of us would get overwhelmed with the workload. Mary even likes the idea and said she would consider adding things she calls her specialties.

We may be onto something here.

My plans for the next couple of months are to compile healthy recipes, test them out, and design a website for said website. Then, when summer rolls around, I will have most of the work done. Ahh, I am excited all ready.

Counting the Blessings in my Life

I could not possibly be happier in my life than I am right now. The trials of this past week have forced me to become closer to my Lord and Savior, which, of course, is a good thing.

After losing a close friend, I have realized God has a larger purpose for everyone than we can imagine. Though my selfishness wants him to be back here on Earth, I know his is happy at home with God. How cool is that?

After dealing with that stress and the stress of studying for four tests, I relied on my bible for support. I always made time to read it every morning, because it was the only thing that was certain. The only thing that was true and predictable. The only thing that I can find peace with, even in the hard times.

Now that an entire seven days since Cliffton passed, I realize how long my week has been. How everyday I remembered little things that reminded me of Cliffton. Even just thinking about things with SIFE, I know I wouldn't be as involved as I am without him.

As I reflect during this entry, I am also so thankful for those in my life who never give up on me. At times when I am too busy to even eat (if you know me, that is insanely busy) those friends are patient and understand. What would I do without you? If you are reading this, chances are, you are one of them. :)

Even on rainy days like this when the bottom three inches of my pants are soaked from my grocery trip to Hy-Vee, I am thankful for the rain. Without days like this, I would never find the time to bake brownies and sit with my other half appreciating the little things in life. Life. Is. Great.

Remembering The Face of SIFE

It's crazy how priorities can flip in an instant.

On Saturday, Mary, Kody, Eryn and I went to "The Man House" to watch the Iowa vs. Iowa State football game. Now, I'm not much into football, but I love the atmosphere. Not to mention, if there is going to be food there, count me in!

Turns out, Iowa won, which I guess was expected. I'm glad Mary wasn't afraid to come with us considering she is a major Iowa State fan.

Later that night, I went to a Drake volleyball game, then went for ice cream afterward. It was the most fun day I have had thus far at Drake. I couldn't ask for better. Then, as we were about to finish up our ice cream together, I received a message from London. She told me to check my email.

Unfortunately, the news wasn't good, though I could already sense it by the urgency in her message. David Maxwell, the Drake University President, sent out a message letting the campus know that Cliffton Murove had passed away earlier in the day. I froze.

This. Can't. Be. Happening.

Cliffton is Drake University SIFE. He started the group from the ground up, and was its first President. He was the most caring person I have probably ever met and would do just about anything for anybody, no questions asked. Cliffton was the go-to guy about everything, SIFE and non-SIFE related. What a great person overall.

He is the reason I joined the presentation team last year, the reason we were so cohesive, the reason we made it to nationals, the reason we are as close as family today. Cliffton, you will truly be missed.

I have never cried so much in one day as I did yesterday. But it was worth it in every way. Cliffton made such an impact at Drake University and he will leave a legacy here. He will always be in my heart.

I feel this may bring the SIFE team closer, though I never thought that was possible. We are all pulling together a memorial service on campus for Cliffton, but I don't know where else we could hold it but outside. Anywhere else would not be able to hold all of the lives that Cliffton has touched.

Rest in Peace Cliffton Murove. We will make you proud this year by doing what you believed was most important all along: helping others.

Passions and Patience-Testers

This topic has come up frequently in my blogs lately, but that must be because it is so important in my life right now. What I want to do with the rest of my life is crucial.

In Marketing class today, Dr. Adkins spoke about following passions and of course it got me thinking. I love the business school. I love the classes, I love the way it is operated, I just love everything about it. Thus, I stick with marketing. However, this second major and minor dilemma is just a puzzle to me.

Do I pursue a second major in psychology, another classes I absolutely loved last semester? In this case, I could become a psychologist, I think. I feel like that really may be my calling. However, psychologists go to school forever and make less than money than business. Now psychiatrists go to med school but the pay off is substantial. The work is very similar (possibly even more exciting) to psychology, except than I can prescribe medicine. Unfortunately, I am not going down the right path during my undergraduate career to make it into medical school.

So what do I do?

I am meeting with the head of the Psychology department tomorrow to see what my options are with what I want to do in life (and in college.) I guess I can go from there.

Now going back to the passions spiel from earlier, I LOVE my Business Law class. Hands down my favorite class at Drake thus far (sorry Accounting.) It is the only class I have taken in law before, but this may be something I could do for the rest of my life. Ideally, I would love to be a Business Law professor. How practical is that? Hmmm....

I will close with a relatable story because I am told that is something in writing that makes the story memorable. Here it goes: in my Business Law class, a girl I will call Ezra for sake of identity confidentiality, sits behind me. When the professor describes another tort, or law, that exists, she has to come up with two "what if" scenarios to test the professor with. Now Ezra's questions are not only irrelevant, but they waste everyone else's time in class. Unfortunately, I am not able to ask the things I would like, because the professor is forced to move on due to time.

Now Ezra is the one in class that everyone cannot stand. The girl who causes everyone to sigh everytime they hear her voice. The girl that doesn't understand how she comes across to others. The girl that I have almost every class with this semester. Lucky me.

In conclusion, I realize that even a girl like Ezra cannot force me to dislike Business Law no matter how much she tries. So Ezra, continue to bring it.

Miscommunication

Today marks the first day I have ever been locked out of my dorm room. Good thing I had twenty minutes to spare before class started. Here is the breakdown of events:

I ran into the room from baking downstairs and threw down everything so I could run to restroom before an accident occurred. I left the door propped, knowing it was locked, and knowing I didn't have my keys. When I got back to the room from the bathroom, the door was shut and locked.

I just waited, knowing Eryn had last been out of the door, so she could let me in with her keys. Unfortunately, she failed to bring her keys with her thinking the door was unlocked. So we are locked outside of our room twenty minutes before sociology starts, the only class that gives participation points for being to class on time.

After trying all the RA's rooms on the 4th, 3rd, and 2nd floors, I gave up and went to the front desk, hoping they could help me out. The guy called several RAs and finally found one that was in his room. He walked Eryn and me upstairs, and unlocked our room.

Luckily, he was very nice about it all. He also did not charge us the $5 fee to get back in, because he said this was an honest mistake, as long as it didn't happen again. Sometimes, even when you are down and out, you can still get lucky. In addition, we made it to class ON TIME, not early, not late.

I am making sure I unlock the door every time I leave for the restroom, because I will not be as lucky next time.