Another Day, Another Breath

Gosh, it feels like too long since I've written. Oh my, what an eventful weekend. Let's start at the beginning.

Thursday morning, at 5 a.m., I was awoken from sleep to find a sharp pain in my left chest and side, thinking I may have slept wrong. After falling back to sleep, I woke up with the same pain, and decided to go to work. I took it easy at work, but I just felt like I was sick or something, with the chest pain increasing in severity. When it came time for the evening, when I normally go to Clarity, I decided to take a nap, because that was my only relief from pain. After speaking to my mom on the phone, she wanted me to go to the ER, just in case.

After about an hour of convincing me, Eryn decided to drive me to a local ER. Just after we arrived, there was a woman suffering from a heart attack. After a short prayer for her, I could only think how lucky I was that nothing that severe was happening to me, or so I thought.

The ER doctor drew my blood and found something abnormal, so he ordered a CT scan to find the issue. He repeatedly told me it was very unlikely nothing was wrong, but that he wanted to exhaust all his resources. When he came back to tell me the results of my CT scan, he said, "Kaila, it looks like I was wrong. You have a blood clot in your left lung, so we are going to keep you here for a couple of days." I just looked at Eryn in shock. Things like this just didn't happen to semi-healthy people like me.

We he left the room, I began to cry, more because I was scared how others would have to change their schedules for me, than my own well-being. The severity of my condition didn't set in for about another day. I was more worried about my mom taking off work, how much it would cost, and what this meant for Eryn.

I was admitted to the hospital at 3:15 Friday morning, still unsure what was going on. The nurses began to take my blood and give me shots, leaving Eryn just watching me. She left just minutes after I laid down in my hospital bed, but never really said goodbye. I cried harder at this point, finally scared of going through this alone. I had to realize other's lives still had to go on, and that I wasn't center of them.

Eryn came to visit at 2:00 p.m. after she got some sleep and made some phone calls. Seeing her face walk in the door, after I was up all night, was the most refreshing feeling. Allie and Sara visited, bringing me cookies and a balloon, which was even more refreshing. I never considered a single visitor outside of my family, so I was so grateful for each of them.

During my stay, Lisa and Jen stopped by, along with Mary twice, Matt, and Kody, who stayed a majority of the time. I must have been naive, but I just assumed no one outside of my family cared for me enough to visit. It's one of the best feelings in the world. :)

I stayed until Monday morning, with twice-a-day shots, blood thinning medicine, daily blood drawings, and hourly vital checks my entire stay. I learned the culprit was my birth control medicine, which I was taking to stop cysts from forming in the future. Several small clots formed in my left lung, preventing me from breathing properly. Even now, deep breaths are still difficult, but not nearly as painful as they were when I went to the ER. I am also looking forward to the day I can sneeze again. Right now, it's just a half-sneeze, because I don't have the lung power to suck in entirely.

Looks like I'll be on blood thinning medicine for 6 months, which means I'll bleed and bruise easily. So no using knives or scissors without supervision. Trusting Eryn with these tasks will be a harder feat than avoiding them. This should be an interesting 6 months.

I can't believe how blessed I am. Only God knows why this happened, but I've learned that I am more loved than I ever thought before. I learned that God will take care of you, so it is pointless focusing the negative. I learned how much I need others around, even if just for the company.

Eryn posted my favorite bible verse on the board in front of me, so I could see it at all hours. Even a nurse commented and smiled, saying how fitting it was in this situation.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." -Phil 4:13.

I believe that now more than ever. I am healthy after several blood clots, where the average age affected is 70. I can make it through and heal to recovery. Though I will not be fully recovered for at least 6 months, I know it will happen. I have no doubt God will take care of me, just like He has already done.

Never again will I take little things for granted, like the lung power to run 5 miles, or the ability to just walk around outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. There are so many people who will never have that opportunity again, but I am not one of them.

Feeling at Home Again

I can't remember the last time I played nertz with the girls from church. Goodness, I miss the crazy inappropriate talks, the awkward moments, and the extreme competitiveness. Most of all, I miss feeling like I fit in with the other people in my church.

My sophomore year of college was the most emotionally and mentally demanding 9 months of my entire life thus far. From getting my first B, to replacing everything from a fire with no money, to overcoming a near car accident, to just developing an unhealthy relationship with food. Gosh, I am just excited to hang out with the other girls from church again.

I hope to be able to play nertz during the school year again. My junior year CANNOT be anything like my sophomore year, or I may end up in a mental institution. (That's a little dramatic, but I may have to do something extreme like cut back hours at work or take less than 18 credits a semester.)

Tonight, I was pretty rusty from not playing in several months. But you know what, I did okay. I like that nobody cares if you are the worst one there, as long as you are having fun, that's all that matters.

This weekend marked a full month of living in my apartment (scary, I know!) Also, Mary took her stuff out of my apartment and Professor Pisarski took my old fridge off my hands. Not to mention, I finally signed up for internet access to Eryn and I can both have access to internet. It's like things are finally falling into place. It's almost as if we are getting closer to being settled in. It's starting to feel like a home, finally.

Enchanted

I just feel like blogging with no apparent topic in mind. We'll see what happens.

So, Eryn and I went to the farmer's market downtown for the first time today. It was exciting. There were so many people, so many booths, and so many runners finishing the dam to dam race. Needless to say, it was packed.

But it was interesting. There were people selling things from rocks with candle wicks in the center, to Bosnian food. We found a stand selling peaches, so of course we had to buy some. They look delicious! Also, we stumbled upon a kettle corn stand and bought a bag of it. Oh my goodness, it was delicious. :) I will definitely go back.

Then, right after we finished grocery shopping, we found a series on TLC called Extreme Couponing. Pretty much what these people do, is clip coupons like it's their job and buy $1800 worth of groceries for $100 with all these coupons. It's insane how much money they save.

The moral of the story is that Eryn and I took this show as a challenge. We are going to see how much money we can save when we go shopping. Hey, if every trip could be $10, I'd be happy. This may be totally unrealistic, but why not try? The money is already there.

The coolest thing about this show is how people use the goodies they purchase. One young couple purchases all of their items to donate to charity. Of course, they buy what they need to survive, but the rest of the things they receive free from couponing, they donate to their church. How cool is that?

I know it is something so small, but instead of keeping the stash for themselves, they donate the rolls of toilet paper or bottles of water they receive to homeless shelters or disaster relief. That's definitely what inspired me the most, was how generous this couple was. They could have easily hoarded all their items just like the other people in the show, but they didn't. Honestly, they didn't care about the material possessions at all. God just radiated from each of them.

Speaking of inspiring things, I have listened to Taylor Swift's "Enchanted" several times in a row on repeat. The lyrics are beautiful. She describes how she meets a guy and they immediately hit it off.

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go.
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home.
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew,
I was enchanted to meet you."

I miss this feeling. How exciting is it when you have a fantastic night and all you can think about is how blessed you were to meet such an amazing person?

"Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you."

Remember when you get to that point that you wonder where their heart is? All you can hope is that you met them at the right place in both of your lives where something may spark.

While on the topic of love, I found a quote that I couldn't pass up. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do: "Love is like an earthquake. Unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over, you realize how lucky you truly are." - Anonymous

I suppose that's all I have for now. Goodnight ya'll.

Concerts and 5Ks

Yesterday was an eventful day for me. I haven't had such an exciting day in quite some time. In the morning, Eryn and I ran in the Capital City 5K race.

Neither of us were there to race, so it was enjoyable to just go and have fun. Unfortunately, my allergies got the best of me and I ended up panting the entire 3.1 miles. I am thankful for Eryn, who stuck with me the whole time. On any other day that wasn't gloomy and humid, we could have done better. My allergies prevented me from breathing properly most of the way, so I had to take it slow.

Last night, Eryn and I went to the Taylor Swift concert. After sitting in the wrong seats and blaming it on the girl next to me, we moved to another section. The section we ended up in was much better. I'm glad we moved. :)

We were both disappointed with the concert. I have been to over a dozen concerts and this was the worst, but the most expensive (now tell me how that works.) Anyway, she didn't talk to the crowd between songs much, over exaggerated every move she made on stage, and sounded horrible. She put on a good show, with a lot of effects and what-not, so it was not a waste of time by any means. Plus, I love singing to music, no matter what its quality may be, so I still enjoyed myself during the concert.

Since today is Memorial Day, Eryn and I had the day off. After driving to her to work to find the fitness center was closed, we drove back to our apartment. Our last option was running outside in the 80 degree weather. Once we got started, it wasn't so bad when we took it slow. But by the end, we were both a mess nobody would like to see.

I was also more sore than I expected to be today. I am rarely sore because I run daily, so a 5K would have been nothing new for me. But that's okay, I persevered.

What an awesome word. Perseverance. While running today, I realized that is one thing I struggle with in life. Starting something and completing it all the way through, regardless how hard it may be. Running has helped with this, so if I continue running, maybe I will become persevering in other aspects of my.

Facebook, Caribou, and Dove Chocolate Wrappers

Today was a wonderful day. Here's a list of things that went right:

• I got off work 2 hours early. Plus, today marks the start of a 3-day weekend.
• I now have access to Facebook on my work computer for "recruiting" purposes. Enough said.
• I had my Caribou Northern Lite Cooler right before work. The caffeine made me super productive all day. It was lovely.
• The maintenance guy, Ryan, fixed the broken kitchen outlet, window seal, tub caulking, kitchen overhead light and closet doors. I no longer have to live like a barbarian.
• I am officially going back to doing recruiting at my job instead of secretarial work. Basically, I now have interaction with other humans and I can read as many resumes as my heart desires.
• Eryn and I found an awesome laundromat that is all high-tech and actually cleans our clothes. Bingo.
• I had an amazing workout this morning. Ran a 5k, lifted, core work, then cooled off with another mile. I was super motivated.
• I purchased my first Groupon. I have been subscribed for almost six months and finally found something worth purchasing.

I am so blessed with all of the wonderful people God has placed my life. Plus, I live with my best friend, who understands me better than I understand myself. My friends at church are so supportive and genuinely interested in how my life is going. My parents do everything they can and then some from 326 miles away (yes, I googled it.)

I guess that's all I have for tonight.

"Blessings only come to those who notice." -Dove Chocolate Wrapper

A Simple Light

Here's the deal: I am a good sleeper. I bet my parents loved raising me when I first came home from the hospital, because I am sure I slept well.

I can fall asleep in probably 5 minutes on a bad night, probably 3 minutes on average. I really don't even have to be tired, I can just fall asleep on the spot. Also, I can sleep on almost any surface in almost any position. Pretty much, I can sleep no matter what the condition.

Since I finally unpacked my room, I had trouble falling asleep. And not just trouble for me, but trouble for the average human. Take Sunday night for instance: I finally fell asleep just after 6 a.m. knowing I had work in the morning and things to get done. I couldn't explain why I just couldn't sleep.

Monday night was a similar story. I played musical sleeping surfaces with the futon, my bed, and the loveseat. I finally conked out on the futon and the rest of the night was history.

Last night, I was determined to get to the problem to my insomnia. What on Earth could be causing it? I gave up after trying to think of the problem, hoping I could fall asleep somehow. As I lay my head on my pillow, I realized I was extremely annoyed by the lights on my printer, flashing right into my eyes.

So, as a rational person, I got up to turn off my printer, thus killing the little "power" light. I sat back down in bed and I must have fallen asleep in minutes, sleeping through the night.

I decided to hook up my printer on Sunday, so the light was on from Sunday through Tuesday, which may explain why I couldn't sleep. I'll have no idea whether that was the actual culprit until I try to get to sleep tonight.

I'll laugh if that was the problem. With my wide range of sleeping conditions, I would be shocked if a tiny light kept me awake at night.

UPDATE: Three days later, I am sleeping like a baby every night. La luz estupido.

Using the "Hint" Button

While playing Mah-Jong tonight, I got stuck with maybe 30 tiles left. After searching for a pair for what seemed like several minutes, I gave up. Luckily, the makers of Mah-Jong were nice enough to offer a hint option, in case you get stuck, like I did. By simply tapping the H key on the keyboard, two matching tiles will highlight for you, telling you their exact location. It's nice when you feel you have exhausted all other resources.

Sometimes I feel like life would be so much easier with a hint option. Don't know what major(s) to declare in college, press your hint button, and a major jumps out at you, so you know exactly what the next right move is.

Don't know who you should date or not date, just tap the hint button and the right guy walks right past you, leaving the guesswork out of careless dating.

Don't know whether to stay at your current job, where you aren't challenged or doing the work you would like to be doing? But, you were so fortunate to obtain the job and know you beat many others for it, so you feel obligated to stay. Press the hint button, and it tells you where to go with your career, in an instant.

How easy would life be like that?

At times, many times, I love the idea of an instant revelation of my destiny, but I know it isn't why God placed us here on Earth. He placed us here to figure these things out for ourselves, while relying on His glory to get through the tough times. The hardest part is remembering that life wasn't meant to be easy, no matter what your beliefs are.

Heres the deal: I have a couple of decisions to make, that I feel are going unanswered at the moment. Obviously, God isn't ready for these decisions to be made just yet. So unfortunately, I have to play to my weaknesses and learn patience. Ha ha...sometimes I feel patience is a four-letter word.