Another Day, Another Breath

Gosh, it feels like too long since I've written. Oh my, what an eventful weekend. Let's start at the beginning.

Thursday morning, at 5 a.m., I was awoken from sleep to find a sharp pain in my left chest and side, thinking I may have slept wrong. After falling back to sleep, I woke up with the same pain, and decided to go to work. I took it easy at work, but I just felt like I was sick or something, with the chest pain increasing in severity. When it came time for the evening, when I normally go to Clarity, I decided to take a nap, because that was my only relief from pain. After speaking to my mom on the phone, she wanted me to go to the ER, just in case.

After about an hour of convincing me, Eryn decided to drive me to a local ER. Just after we arrived, there was a woman suffering from a heart attack. After a short prayer for her, I could only think how lucky I was that nothing that severe was happening to me, or so I thought.

The ER doctor drew my blood and found something abnormal, so he ordered a CT scan to find the issue. He repeatedly told me it was very unlikely nothing was wrong, but that he wanted to exhaust all his resources. When he came back to tell me the results of my CT scan, he said, "Kaila, it looks like I was wrong. You have a blood clot in your left lung, so we are going to keep you here for a couple of days." I just looked at Eryn in shock. Things like this just didn't happen to semi-healthy people like me.

We he left the room, I began to cry, more because I was scared how others would have to change their schedules for me, than my own well-being. The severity of my condition didn't set in for about another day. I was more worried about my mom taking off work, how much it would cost, and what this meant for Eryn.

I was admitted to the hospital at 3:15 Friday morning, still unsure what was going on. The nurses began to take my blood and give me shots, leaving Eryn just watching me. She left just minutes after I laid down in my hospital bed, but never really said goodbye. I cried harder at this point, finally scared of going through this alone. I had to realize other's lives still had to go on, and that I wasn't center of them.

Eryn came to visit at 2:00 p.m. after she got some sleep and made some phone calls. Seeing her face walk in the door, after I was up all night, was the most refreshing feeling. Allie and Sara visited, bringing me cookies and a balloon, which was even more refreshing. I never considered a single visitor outside of my family, so I was so grateful for each of them.

During my stay, Lisa and Jen stopped by, along with Mary twice, Matt, and Kody, who stayed a majority of the time. I must have been naive, but I just assumed no one outside of my family cared for me enough to visit. It's one of the best feelings in the world. :)

I stayed until Monday morning, with twice-a-day shots, blood thinning medicine, daily blood drawings, and hourly vital checks my entire stay. I learned the culprit was my birth control medicine, which I was taking to stop cysts from forming in the future. Several small clots formed in my left lung, preventing me from breathing properly. Even now, deep breaths are still difficult, but not nearly as painful as they were when I went to the ER. I am also looking forward to the day I can sneeze again. Right now, it's just a half-sneeze, because I don't have the lung power to suck in entirely.

Looks like I'll be on blood thinning medicine for 6 months, which means I'll bleed and bruise easily. So no using knives or scissors without supervision. Trusting Eryn with these tasks will be a harder feat than avoiding them. This should be an interesting 6 months.

I can't believe how blessed I am. Only God knows why this happened, but I've learned that I am more loved than I ever thought before. I learned that God will take care of you, so it is pointless focusing the negative. I learned how much I need others around, even if just for the company.

Eryn posted my favorite bible verse on the board in front of me, so I could see it at all hours. Even a nurse commented and smiled, saying how fitting it was in this situation.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." -Phil 4:13.

I believe that now more than ever. I am healthy after several blood clots, where the average age affected is 70. I can make it through and heal to recovery. Though I will not be fully recovered for at least 6 months, I know it will happen. I have no doubt God will take care of me, just like He has already done.

Never again will I take little things for granted, like the lung power to run 5 miles, or the ability to just walk around outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. There are so many people who will never have that opportunity again, but I am not one of them.