Every once in awhile (on days I feel fat) I share this same view. On days where I am weak, I wish I could have that control and feeling of power in my life that I had back then. It seems unreasonable that a person could want to fall back into her mental illness, but we all have guilty pleasures. Mine is the feeling of control I get from looking great.
When I saw this secret, I felt like I could have posted it myself. It is so nice to have a community where many can share their secrets. It helps us realize that we are more alike as humans than we probably thought beforehand.
Don't get the idea that I am suddenly going to stop eating, because I am recovered and that will NEVER be me again. I suppose maybe it is the time of my life that I miss. Regardless, I hope that sharing my story will help other girls see that they are not the only ones who feel a certain way. With God's strength, those girls too can get over the urge to starve.
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