Without Matt

This is a blog post about Matt. If you are already sick of hearing about him, I apologize. You may skip this one and move onto another post.

Matt has been gone in Canada since Thursday, so only 4 days, and I miss him like crazy. In fact, the last time I have heard from him was one text 12 hours ago, then one text before that about 25 hours ago. So, not much communication at all. I am just not used to this. I really don't like it.

If you know me, you know I am an independent person. Throughout high school and most of college, I made it clear that I don't need a guy to define me. In all honesty, I am 100% fine without a guy in my life. However, Matt isn't just some guy. He is my guy. 

Matt is my better half. When I heard people say that when I was younger, I never listened. I never believed one person could make another person feel incomplete. That was before I met Matt. I have been extremely productive since he left, but I still feel like a piece of me is missing. It is especially hard when I can't even text him because he doesn't get cell phone service in Canada. 

I have to get used to this separation thing because I know we will be 5 hours apart for quite some time. This separation must be God's way of saying, "Kaila, you have to learn to make it on your own." If that is what is happening, I need to learn to branch out and do things differently. 

The craziest thing of all, is that the little things remind me of him. Almost like that feeling one gets when they just break up with someone and miss them dearly. I watched The Notebook by myself and cried through the parts where the main character reminded me of Matt. Not because it was sad, but because I miss Matt so dearly. At church today, I caught myself looking over and trying to say something to him and realized no one was there. Even in Sunday School, when I sat by Tyler Dobson, I looked over at him and realized he was no Matt.

A funny story about Tyler is that I lived with him 2 years ago after he graduated high school. While living together, he always tried to set me up with some of his friends. One friend he continually mentioned was named Matt Penner, but since Tyler brought his name up, there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to date this guy. I mean, come on, he is a year younger than me! Needless to say, Tyler was right about one thing: Matt actually was a GREAT guy. I just had to let my preconceived notions set aside and look at Matt for who he is and not who Tyler said he was. If Matt and I ever get married, I will never actually tell Tyler he was right about Matt because I don't want him to get a big head. Haha.

As you can tell, I am quite lonely and I am rambling. So I will get off of here and possibly get to bed early. That way I can be relaxed for a long week ahead. Good luck on a great week!

Graduation on the Brain

I was contacted by financial aid at Drake last weekend about graduating early. No, they didn't tell me that I should stay until May so they could get more money out of me. Instead, they decided I should graduate early to save money and because I can meet all my requirements by December.

Easier said then done. I need to get into ONE course that fulfills 3 of the six criteria I need to graduate. In essence, this is the JACKPOT of classes because it means I can take research and a marriage and family course for fun, instead of sacrificing those to take other courses I need. Additionally, it is a course that I purchased all the books for 2 semesters ago because I was scheduled to take it and it was dropped last minute. Haha.

Anyway, I am now patiently waiting to hear back from the professor to see if she would be willing to let me in her class. I now there is a very slim chance she will let me in, but a girl can dream, can't she?

You may be asking why I am so eager to graduate early. Well, here is a pro/con list of graduating early:

Pros

• Much cheaper - I'll save about $5,000 in tuition alone
• I am able to work full time from January through August 2013, which helps me earn more cash. In addition to this, I can be more settled in my job before going back to part-time during graduate school when I start back in August.
• I am able to move back home in December, saving even more money on rent
• Moving to Bolivar, MO also means I can be closer to Matt (5 hours in Des Moines versus 45 minutes in Bolivar).
• Have more time to apply for graduate school because I won't be in school when I apply (the apps are due anywhere from January to March of 2013).
• It will give me an 8 month break from school before starting graduate school.

Cons

• I have already promised to babysit for Hailey and Abby in the spring, which would not be possible if I graduate early and live down in MO
• My on-campus job is year-round, so it would force my boss to find someone new for the second semester
• My position in SIFE will be up for grabs during the second semester, which is a HUGE bummer 
• I am leaving Eryn to find a new roomie or figure out a new living arrangement

If you are reading this, can I ask something from you? I am desperate and I have no idea what is in store for me. The one thing I do know is that I need to follow God's will for my life. In other words, graduating early may just be an attractive idea, but not practical in God's eyes. Can I ask for your prayer to ask for God's will in my life and in this decision? I desperately need it in this time of need. 

I hope you had a great Sunday and God bless. :)

Half Canadian

The love of my life is in Calgary, Canada right now. No, he isn't ice fishing or whatever else Canadians typically do for fun. He is with his family visiting his mom's parents and family. 

This will be the longest time Matt and I have spent apart our entire relationship. Not only will he be gone for 10 days, but he doesn't get cell phone service, so calling and texting is sketchy. Needless to say, I have time to start blogging again. Why not, right?

I have never been to Canada, let alone anywhere else outside of the US. I feel like such a homebody sometimes. What is wrong with the US? Without going into governmental or political rants, I love the US. Even if it is all I know, I am aware that there are many worse places I could call my home. 

One day, I hope I too can go along with Matt's family to Canada, just to see all of the places he has talked about before. It also helps put a place to some of the things he has talked about before. 

Even though Matt disagrees, I call him "half Canadian" all of the time. If a person's mom is born in Canadian and his dad is born in the US, the child (Matt) is half Canadian...right? I'm pretty sure I'm right. However, his family is actually from Denmark like my family, so I'm not really sure what happened there. haha.

Well, I hope everyone is having a relaxing Saturday night. I should probably get off her and do something more productive, like reading a book or watching TV. Goodnight fellow Americans.

Becoming a Teacher for a Summer

The job I have this summer is undoubtedly the hardest job I have ever had. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. 

I am the first and second grade teacher to students all summer long at the science center. Let's just say a good day is when I leave with my voice and no headache. I haven't had a day like that since probably week 2. 

Needless to say, this is why I have not blogged in a very long while. I come home from work, most likely crash, eventually eat and then do something rather productive like curriculum, go to my second job or going to bed early. This is my life these days.

Though I realize I will never educate anyone under the age of 18 for my permanent job, I have learned many things from job. Here is my current, ever-changing list:

1. Rules must include every possible outcome to a situation. If even one thin is left out, your rule may as well not exist. Kids WILL find the loophole.
2. A child's sense of time is based on the next time they can eat.
3. Little boys cry more often than little girls.
4. A child's attention span is less than 15 minutes long...on the lengthy end.
5. If a child misbehaves in class, it is the teacher's fault for not disciplining the child correctly...not the parents who don't know how to raise a child.
6. Sometimes the cutest children are the ones who misbehave the most. I think that's why God made them so darn cute.
7. Bathroom breaks are the most important things to get correct during the day.
8. Transitioning time between activities takes at least five minutes. Much time is wasted on just getting children quiet. 
9. I get attached to children very quickly.

There are many other things I learned from this camp, but my brain is too fried to even think right now. 9 items is sufficient for now.

On a side note, Gavin, my little curly red-haired kid will not be coming back this summer. I have spent the first five weeks with him and I will miss him dearly. Though he wasn't perfect, he was wonderful for a boy. I actually shed tears (though I hope no one saw) when he walked out of the door. Sad day.

Eryn is going out bowling with Kody right now and Matt is almost in Canada on a roadtrip with his family at the moment, so I shall lay in bed and watch The Notebook for my first time ever, by myself. Sounds like a lovely night to me. Peace out.