I always respected that, especially because she is the number one reason I am saved today. I remember the first time she invited me to her Wednesday night church (a nondenominational church many of my friends went to on Wednesday nights). I had a great time and went back ever since. I even remember her being the first one I told once I got saved and I remember how excited she was for me, though she didn't believe in that concept because of her religion.
Especially after I started going to church regularly, I remember the many conversations I had with her about her faith because I was fascinated about Catholicism. Goodness, I loved how we could talk about what we each believed, without offending on another. We were just there to learn from one another.
I remember telling her I couldn't go to her confirmation because I wanted to go to my church that day. I had every intention of missing her confirmation and going to church when I said that. But the look on her face after I told her killed me inside. I went home, researched what confirmation was and instantly knew I should be there for her, even if I didn't believe in being confirmed. I remember her face when saw me surprise her by coming and I remember the death-grip hug I received from her after her confirmation.
We have been through a lot spiritually, but I will never forget how much she has impacted me. Who would have guessed I would move to a rural school in 6th grade and become a Christian just over a year later? Not me. I just started hanging out with her and the other "good kids" in my grade and realized there was something different about them. They had God. And I wanted God too.
Fast forward to tonight. I was speaking with her over Facebook chat and realized how much she has changed since the day I met her, almost 9 years ago. She was telling me about a guy she is "attracted to" but doesn't want anything serious. She would much rather have a "make out" buddy than anything that could get her attached. This is just a day after she told me she has decided she is going to drink when she turns 21.
She told me not to judge her and I didn't. I still haven't. I am supposed to be there for her, good times and bad. I can't help but think she is different than she was when I met her.
She has never had a serious boyfriend, or a boyfriend at all, for that matter. In high school, we weren't the "cool ones." We were the nerds, the brains, the ones who cared more about their grades than attracting the attention of any guys. In fact, my fondest memories of high school are from participating in math competitions and academic team competitions.
I am realizing how college has enabled me to become close to God, while many stray away during college. Look at my friend, for instance. When I told her about my first kiss at 17, she definitely thought that was unacceptable and I should have dated him longer first. In college, she now has a roster of guys who are "make out buddies." My heart breaks for her.
In high school, we use to joke how useless sororities were and how many temptations exist in those situations. So I was shocked when I heard she rushed, then joined, a sorority. That is when I first noticed the changes and they continue to occur.
I pray that she becomes closer to God again. I know her slope is only going to get steeper when she turns 21 in October and finally starts drinking at all the parties she attends. I can't imagine how that is going to turn out for her. I just pray God looks out for her.
I have so many things to learn and I am far from perfect. I make my fair share of mistakes, especially in my Christian walk, so I am in no position to judge. I just fear that small decisions will lead to bigger decisions that will lead to lifelong mistakes. Even from 309 miles away, I let her know I am always here for her, any time, any day, if she needs me. It sounds like she needs someone outside of her sorority sisters and fraternity brothers. I am going to be that someone.
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