Let's backtrack to a little over three weeks ago. Sitting in the ER to find out I had something pretty serious wrong with me was not the highlight of that week. After the doctor left the room, I looked at Eryn, knowing she was the only person in my life at that time who I would have wanted to be hearing the news with me. I began to cry, mostly out of instinct, scared of the unknown. I had no idea how severe it was or how it could have happened. I just knew I was pretty sick and needed to get help, ASAP.
Throughout my stay, I never got scared. For the first time in my life, I realized God was in control. I am not just saying this because it sounds like what a Christian should say; I'm saying this because it's the truth. I knew if God had it planned that it was my time to join Him, I would join Him. If it wasn't my time, then He would take care of me and heal me, just as He has done. I cannot explain the feeling in words.
Before this happened, I was getting bored with my job. I was spending 5.5 hours a day doing menial work that I felt the company could live without. I felt as if they were giving me busy work and I was never really appreciated, just another employee. I mean, I am still the only one in the office not listed on the company website. That's a little disheartening.
Anyway, I was getting discouraged. However, while in the hospital, I received personal letters from four people I work with, along with a couple of magazines to keep my spirits high while there. I was surprised to get anything from my work. Not to mention, they were very receptive to me missing work. They didn't care how long I was out, as long as I was well enough before coming back to work. I also did not expect that.
Just when my spirits were down about work, God showed me how truly blessed I am to work with the great people I work with. Sure, I will not work here the rest of my life, but the relationships I've formed while working here are more meaningful than the experience from the work itself.
The third change, and probably the biggest change I've noticed, is the way I approach relationships. Before this point, I was all about finding a guy who I could have fun with and that's pretty much it. If he was attractive, that was a bonus. Nothing beyond surface level mattered to me.
After finding someone who puts God first in his relationships, my whole perspective on what I want in a relationship has changed. When you have the same passions in life and similar life goals, it is so much easier to connect. Not to mention, my patience has been tested, but strengthened through this experience. I needed that.
Prayer is also so important in relationships, which I am starting to learn. Just praying for God's will in our lives has made a substantial difference from past relationships. I've learned that there is no hurry to rush into things. In fact, why not wait awhile? If dating is to find the person you are going to marry, why not take it seriously?
Ultimately, I have trusted God more than ever recently, which is the best feeling in the world. I don't know how I didn't catch onto this earlier.
"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."- Jeremiah 17:7
This couldn't be more true. I am truly blessed, and trusting in the Lord just makes it more apparent.
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