Understanding What God Wants for Me

I should stop getting myself into situations that will just end up hurting me in the end. But what do I do when I feel like God is finally pulling me in the direction that I want to go in? I can't read what He wants, so I continue to pray for His control in my life. However, exactly what I would want is coming true, and this makes me a little nervous.

Here's the scenario. There's a guy, Nathan, that I've gotten a little closer to lately. Since getting his number, the following night I finally got the nerve to text him and see what he was up to. Unfortunately, he was working, but said he didn't mind texting me. That was pretty cool.

Then there's the regret later that night because I don't want to seem too eager; that's just not my style. I want him to think I am just a friend. So I decided I would follow God's will and wait until Nathan contacted me first. If he didn't make any effort, then I would have nothing to lose.

Of course he texted me the next day, and I was like a freshman in high school: all giddy and happy. Though the conversation wasn't long, it was enough. Again, that night, I prayed that God would have control in whatever may happen in my life. I prayed that He would have his hand in all the relationships in my life, putting the people in my life for their true purpose.

Guess who I saw at church today for the first time since I met him? Talk about another giddy schoolgirl. Gosh, I really don't like that I act like that, but I can't help it. What is God telling me? I wish I could read what He wants in my life. We continued to text for the remainder of the day off and on, but I don't know what this means. God is taking him away from me in two weeks so a relationship would definitely be out of question.

Why have I fallen so hard and fast for this guy? What is in his heart? What are God's intentions in all of this? I guess there are a dozen unanswered questions that only God knows the answer to. For the first time in my life, I am letting everything go and allowing God to take control with a guy I like. The idea of not knowing is killing me though. But it's all for the glory of God and I know he has my best intentions in mind.