Sharing Secrets

While reading PostSecret on Sunday, I found this secret in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. This is another example of how mental illness controls one's life.

Every once in awhile (on days I feel fat) I share this same view. On days where I am weak, I wish I could have that control and feeling of power in my life that I had back then. It seems unreasonable that a person could want to fall back into her mental illness, but we all have guilty pleasures. Mine is the feeling of control I get from looking great.

When I saw this secret, I felt like I could have posted it myself. It is so nice to have a community where many can share their secrets. It helps us realize that we are more alike as humans than we probably thought beforehand.

Don't get the idea that I am suddenly going to stop eating, because I am recovered and that will NEVER be me again. I suppose maybe it is the time of my life that I miss. Regardless, I hope that sharing my story will help other girls see that they are not the only ones who feel a certain way. With God's strength, those girls too can get over the urge to starve.

Ice Cream is the Best Medicine

Today was one of those days when I came home and thought "I could definitely use some ice cream." That is indeed what I did.

I volunteered to judge for the FBLA district competition today. It was interesting to see the talent across different schools in the district. The competition was called digital production and design because it involved elements of designing items for a company and presenting their findings.

Today, I only judged the presentation portion, but I gave my fair share of opinions on the design elements. I realized I do not tolerate spelling errors, poor presentation skills, and horrible color schemes.

I then went to work shortly after and ran my first closing shift. Although the only change in my shift was after the store closed, my focus shifted to other things that I didn't notice before. I am determined to do better at my job in order to get a potential raise as First Assistant Manager in August. During close, it took me twice as long as I wanted it to, but Mallory helped me figure out what went wrong. Luckily, she had personally closed the store before so she was very helpful.

So I came home after a long day, got a bowl of ice cream, and relaxed. That is exactly what I needed after a day like today.

Expect the Unexpected

If someone had told me on December 14, 2012 that two months later I would be working at Maurices, taking a class, and experiencing more free time than I ever thought possible, I would have said they were crazy. Well, they actually would have been exactly right.

God works in amazing ways. He knows what is better for me than I could have ever dreamed. The free time is nice because I hadn't really felt that in over 3 1/2 years. The sales associate job also brings me back to high school, even if it is a little stressful.

The best part about being a part-time bum is that I can spend much overdue time with Cheeto. I missed having a cat at home since moving to college, so it is nice to spend my days with him. He is crazy and spunky, but I love him to death. I have never met a cat that loves being upside down, but this cat definitely loves it!