Wouldn't Have it Any Other Way

Awhile ago, Eryn purchased a book called "Before Getting Engaged" at a Christian bookstore. The main premise of the book is to explain twelve signs you know you are ready to be married and how to make yourself spiritually, emotionally and financially ready for marriage.

I decided to pull it out at the doctor's office to pass the time, especially because the wait was abnormally long this morning. Anyway, as I was reading, something in chapter two stuck out me.

*Before I begin to explain, here's a disclaimer. I realize I have only been in my current relationship for 3 weeks, so I am nowhere close to any engagement decisions at the moment. However, some of the signs that I am ready to be engaged are there already, while others still need work.*

The book said you realize you are with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with when two things happen:

1. You no longer have the urge to date anyone else besides the person you are with. You never think back to your exes and think about "what if." You no longer think about that guy you had a major crush on last year. You only think about your main squeeze.
   
2. You no longer look at the opposite sex in the same as you used to. For me, other guys would just be other guys, but wouldn't compare to who I'm with now. For instance, I go to eat at a restaurant alone and realize an attractive guy keeps taking glances at me. If I was ready to be engaged, I would not think twice about this occurrence and look the other way.

The reason both of these stuck out to me and the reason I am writing about them now is because I realize I am fully ready in both areas. For example, I have never, ever liked dating. I don't like awkward situations and I don't like being uncomfortable. Why would I want to meet someone else? I don't have an urge to see what else is out there when I am 100% happy where I am. I would be perfectly happy to not go on another date with another guy besides Matt. That's the truth.

The second point is the biggest revelation for me. In my past relationships, including the one where I "knew" I was going to marry him, attractive guys were attracted me. I still had the thought of "what if I were with him instead?" Goodness, don't we all want what we can't have?

Strangely enough, I don't have those feelings like I have in the past. In fact, as I've said before, all of the guys I had feelings for before meeting Matt are nothing to me now. I forget they exist. If you were to line up 100 guys and ask me who I thought was "cute" or not, I couldn't tell you, because I simply don't care. It doesn't matter anymore.

I am very excited to get further in this book and learn more about myself in the process.