However, this could not be farther from the truth. I made a list of the guys in my life in some sort of romantic way from December 2009 to December 2010. I came up 13. That's right, 13. How sad. Here is a story for each of the guys, each with their names changed.
Gate B. I was head over heels for this guy from Drake. He was what I thought I always wanted, but turned out to be more than I could handle. We talked in person occasionally, but never went further than friends. Looking back now, I would never date this guy. But let's just say, I was close to obsessed.
Drake T. He was my best friend at Drake. We told each other everything and I was there for him when he would come back from partying, making sure he was okay. However, he started to express feelings for me pretty quickly and hoped I felt the same. Unfortunately, I only saw him as a friend. We don't talk like we used to, but we have recently patched things up.
Sake. We have been friends since high school and we are quite close. I mean, we have gone through some rough times. However, he expressed feelings for me before his girlfriend, then after his girlfriend. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same for him. Even though we talk nearly every day, I know I constantly hurt him because I don't express the same feelings for him. I hope he realizes one day he will find "the one" who is even better than me.
Derek. I am not sure how we met and became friends. He quickly became friends with my sister's boyfriend and the four of us hung out a couple of times. He was my buddy to hang with when Eryn was with her boyfriend. However, he told my sister that he had fallen for me and I was utterly shocked when I found out. I came clean and told him I didn't feel the same. The best part was that he was 100% understanding and wanted to continue our friendship. We are friends to this day, thankfully.
Tosh. This one is probably the hardest to write about. I met him at church and realized quickly how great of a guy he is. On Valentine's Day, we went on a date and I saw our relationship going somewhere. We talked until 3a.m. that night. However, I just didn't have feelings for him. There was no chemistry on my part whatsoever. He is a great individual and a wonderful Christian. The date after our "date," I broke the news to him that I felt we were better as friends and he didn't understand. In fact, almost a year after that date, he told me he felt I was "the one" God put on this Earth for him to marry. That is a great burden to place on someone, especially if they don't feel the same. We are still friends, but our friendship has greatly suffered because of the unmatched feelings. I genuinely hope things will become better between us one day.
Leric. I met this guy in one of my organizations. I liked how we had so much in common, so we texted for a couple of weeks straight before he asked me on a date. I said yes, thinking there could be something between us. Unfortunately, the date was amazing, but I realized he was not for me. I pretty much cut off ties with him and left him in the dust, which I have noticed is a common characteristic between some of the guys. We are still friends and openly talk about everything, but I know things could be better if I had not blown him off like I did.
Tuke. He was the opposite of everything I have ever wanted. Lead singer of a band, a smoker, a non-Christian....the list goes on. But for some reason, we flirted right off the bat and our personalities click. We hung out a couple of times and he brought me as a date to one of his shows. I really liked this guy, though I knew I shouldn't have. He even expressed interest in me, but he did not want to date me. Looking back now, I am very grateful he turned me down because we would not have been good together. He is still a great friend and I am glad nothing is different between us.
Drake M. I met him while visiting a friend in Missouri over spring break. He was one of those people that you instantly notice when he walks into a room. We reconnected at a national SIFE event and talked for two months straight constantly. I started developing feelings for him, but shied away from him because he was five hours away. I regret this because I know we would have been good together. Fortunately, we just started again about a week ago. Things may be better this time. Certain things are worth a second chance.
Jeff. I met this guy at church. He has the cutest dimples, the sweetest personality and the shyest attitude. Unfortunately, he was too-good-to-be-true. I pretty much admired him from afar, wishing things would change between us. Some things are just not meant to be. He will make some woman very happy one day.
Salem. He quickly showed interest in me within the first minute of meeting him at church. However, he was not my type. The obsessive antics quickly turned me away. I even "forgot" to say yes to his friend request for several weeks on facebook, though he continued to remind me every time he spoke to me. He asked for my number and I said yes, trying to be nice. Luckily, he never texted me, which was my greatest fear. He is one of those you just have to watch out for.
Gate W. This guy deserves several pages for him alone. I met him at church over the summer and quickly found his personality addictive. I was instantly attracted to him in every way and felt he was worth pursuing. He even got my number and we texted for several weeks straight, though he said he hated texting. We hung out one evening for 5 hours or so, just talking. I was the happiest girl in the world at the end of that evening. I realized he was everything I was looking for and more. Unfortunately, he left for Minnesota for college and we have rarely spoken since then. I still think he is a wonderful human being. If our paths cross again someday, maybe things will go further. I KNOW he will make a very lucky woman insanely happy one day.
Ian. I met him at church in the fall. Though I was never interested in him, we went a couple of weeks where we spoke several times a day for hours at a time. Those around me told me he must have had feelings for me, but I beg to differ. I spoke with him just to see where things would end up, with no outcome in sight. Things have not progressed from there, but it was fun while it lasted.
Rick. I met him while working on a group project for Marketing. He is absolutely wonderful in every way. Nice, attractive, hilarious, intelligent, witty, charming, and a bowler (double bonus.) Heck, he is even obsessed with penguins, which I find extremely adorable. The problem here: he is taken. I would not expect anything less from him. Good guys like that don't just run around single. Though he expressed the rockiness of his relationship, I don't want to step in while they are together. If they stay together, great for him. If they don't, I hope to be the one to make him happy. Only time will tell with him.
In conclusion, this has been a very busy year. I only hope the next year brings an actual relationship where I can find love again. Who knows, maybe I have all ready met Mr. Right?
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