An Awakening

It's hard to hold onto something you have forced yourself to stay attached to. The purpose of high school graduation was to move onto a new life. A new life that forced me to drop everything and move 330 miles away from home, on the drop of a dime. The kind of move that I know God wanted for my life.

For the first year of college, I did just that. I finally found who I was. I found who I want to be. I found what I want in life. I found more about who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Most of all, I became the closest to God I have ever been.

But this summer, something changed. I became insecure. I became distant from people. I became distant from God. I became the person I always feared I would become.

After all the progress I made during my first year of college, I have completely backtracked. Backtracked to the point where I hit rock bottom, almost literally, as this last semester ended. I don't know what happened. I don't know how I could have fallen so far away from enjoying life, people, and school.

For the first time since my first year in college, I feel free. I want to be around others, I want to be closer to God. I want to read my textbooks ahead of time and go bowling just because. I want to stay up late catching up with friends I haven't seen in almost a year. I want to be the person God aspires for me.

Something happened today to change all of that. I can't explain what it is, because I honestly don't know. All I can say is that the work of God is upon me.

This semester is going to be the best semester yet. I can feel it. I know God always has great things in store for me and I can't wait to see how He is going to use me.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:3