Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Sometimes I wonder whether is was a good decision to decide to graduate early. I know it is wonderful that I can save several thousands of dollars and that I can be with my family, working full time, and hopefully spend time with Matt. However, I know this is going to be tough for Eryn and I.

We have been apart all of 4 days without seeing each in our entire lives. I even remember when that occasion was. I don't think people can understand the relationship twins can have, especially the closeness Eryn and I have. We are pretty much the same person in two different bodies. We think the same things are funny, have the same taste in pretty much everything (except favorite color), and know everything about each other.

We have jokingly said that when I move out after I graduate it will be like a nasty divorce. We'll be splitting up a lot of what we share now. That's just it, we SHARE a lot of things. Things from clothes, to drinking mugs, to folders for class. We share nearly everything. It will be hard to divvy up who gets what pair of jeans and who gets to keep our awesome purple couch (I think Eryn gets it for the time being).

It's nice that in my last semester at Drake we can have a class together. I enjoy that class only because Eryn is in it. Otherwise, I greatly despise marketing and I can't wait for the class to be over.

It'll be nice to come up here for probably a week to help Eryn with the wedding (maybe more, depending on what time I can get off). It will be our last hoorah until Eryn goes into wedded bliss and I am back in Missouri living my normal life. Haha.

I think we both know that we will be living near each other again. It's an unspoken thing. We can't be apart from each other for that long, so I know we will have to come up with a plan to move near each other again. Regardless of how involved I get into dating someone or married life, I know she is my one true best friend. God made it that way, so He must have known we would need each other.

604800 Seconds

7 days. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. 604800 seconds.

This is how long I have to wait to see my love. That is definitely too long.

I have a massively busy week this coming week with four tests and one quiz next week alone. Also, I am in the process of working all my jobs since my old job is ending and my new job already started. So 20 hours of work, 21 credits, and lab/pigeon shaping all week. If you don't know what that is, that is where I have to spend about half an hour each day shaping a pigeon to perform simple tasks, such as pecking at a screen to receive food.

Just a long week ahead. The best part of the week will be Friday when I can leave Iowa and head quickly down to Missouri to see my mom, my dad, Cheeto, and most importantly, my Matt. :)

Long distance relationships are both easier and harder than I expected. They are easier because I thought I would be tempted to want a guy closer to me and want to look for other guys. The opposite has happened. I have wished I could be with Matt even more than before and I appreciate the little time I have with him even more than ever before. It is harder because I didn't realize how lucky I was to have my best friend less than twenty minutes away from me. I mean, it is awesome living with Eryn, but sometimes I need my guy who calms me down, makes me feel pretty and cheers me up like no one else can.

Luckily, we text all of the time and send picture messages to one another often. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Playing "hard to get," I think. Haha 

Post haircut. He looks so happy!

It's the little things that get me through each day. The good morning texts and the sound of his voice over the phone. The funny photos and the exciting texts I get when he is in a great mood. Mostly, though, my constant countdown of when I'll see him next is what makes each day go by. The days fly by faster than I realize and I can see him once again. Just one more week. Ready, set, go!

Popped Locks and Profiling

Last weekend my dad came up to Des Moines to spend a long weekend with Eryn and I. For lunch on Saturday, we went to Jimmy Johns close to my apartment. I threw my keys in my purse, locked the car doors and went inside. As we were about to leave, I realized my keys were not in my purse. Shoot.

Turns out they missed my purse and fell into the seat instead. In other words, I was locked out of my car. My dad and I went back to my apartment and found a couple of items to pry open my door and create a makeshift break-in tool.

On our way from my apartment back to my car, my dad said, "I wonder how many guys will try to come up and tell me how to do it. There is always a handful who have their own opinions on it." My dad said he has attempted to get into about 10 cars and has successfully broken into all 10 of them with little help. I had confidence that he'd get into my car no problem.

Not even 2 minutes after we start prying open my door, a guy walks up to us asking if we needed any help. My dad smiled at me and mouthed, "one" as if he was starting a tally of guys offering to help us.

"We just started, so I'm not sure yet," I answered.

"Oh well, I'm a sheriff, so I can call someone to help you guys out pretty quickly," Mr. Sheriff said. "Just let me know and I'll be happy to call someone for you."

"Thanks," I said as he walked into Jimmy Johns for his lunch.

After a couple of minutes, my dad was still struggling, but I knew he was getting closer to getting through the thick insulation into my car. Mr. Sheriff came back out to us and said he would call someone. After he got off the phone, he began talking to me.

"Where in Missouri are you from?"

"Springfield area," I told him, initially shocked he knew I was from Missouri until I realized I have a MO license plate.

"What year are you at Drake? And what are you studying?" He quickly asked after that.

This one really got to me. How in the world would he have any idea I went to Drake? I didn't have my Drake sticker on my car anymore, no parking tag, nothing. I finally settled on that I was wearing a SIFE polo with "Drake University" written very tiny that gave my school away.

He was an observant sheriff. He figured out all this about me within probably 30 seconds. It's crazy what someone can find out about you with just information from a situation and what you are wearing.

We made more small talk until the cop showed up with official equipment. My dad had the hanger at my handle and was probably two more attempts away from opening it, but he gave up, allowing the "professionals" to do what they are best at.

The cop got the door opened within probably 90 seconds. I thanked him for his time and he asked me what I was studying at Drake (I'm hoping Mr. Sheriff told him I was from Drake). He told me people like me make Drake look bad since he went to Drake too. I hope he was kidding.

The moral of the story is that I need to be more aware when putting my keys in my purse. Oh, and that someone can profile a person in no time at all, so be careful with what information you openly display about yourself. You never know who or what is watching you.

Learning from the Past

I recently opened up to Matt about my past relationships. Through my limited experience with relationships, I have developed the following conclusions about relationships:

• Your first love isn't always your last
• Poor communication is the number one reason for breakups/fights
• If someone brings you down, you shouldn't be with them
• He should love God more than he loves you
• If you would rather be awake because your life with him is better than dreaming, he's a keeper
• The second you find out he isn't worth marrying, end the relationship. Every second you spend together after that point is just wasted. 
• Just because he is a "good" guy, that doesn't automatically make him "boring"
• He should challenge you mentally
• He should make you laugh daily
• He should make you feel like the most beautiful girl on Earth
• Bad boys are a waste of time
• Never settle. It is better to stay single for several years than jump from failed relationship to failed relationship.
• Don't count out the guy who doesn't perfectly fit your ridiculously high standards because he may just be "the one"

It's funny because I stayed single for over 3 years, because I refused to settle for a mediocre guy. I also have ridiculously high standards, which I thought would make me single for the rest of my life. Then, I met Matt. The biggest difference between him and the other guys I dated was that he didn't immediately drop cheesy pick up lines on me. Instead, he wanted us to get to know each other as friends before dating was ever a thought. That was the thing that stood out about him so I'm not surprised he's been my longest relationship.

Ultimately, I want to go all cliche for a second and say that he must be your best friend or it won't work. Matt has been my only relationship where we were each other's best friend and it has made all of the difference. Our communication is wonderful, though we always have times where it isn't storybook perfect. 

I wish I could have read this list possibly 6 years ago, when I first started dating. I would not have had those 3 month relationships that were just silly. I guess we all have to be young and naive at one point in our lives, don't we?

Song Lyrics

Recently I have discovered new bands and rediscovered old bands I haven't listen to in awhile. Here are a couple of verses from a couple of songs that stood out to me. I'm a sucker for beautiful lyrics.

Hedley - Hiding Place

If you fall I'll catch you
If the world comes at you
You can always run to me
I'll be your hiding place
And if the stars burn out of the sky
And your heart lost it's light, just never let me go
And I'll scare your fears away
Yeah I'll be your hiding place

Boys Like Girls - Be Your Everything

Four letter word
But I don't have the guts to say it
Smile 'til it hurts
Let's not make it complicated
We've got a story
But I'm about to change the ending
You're perfect for me
And more than just a friend
So we can just stop pretending now
Gotta let you know somehow

He is We - I Wouldn't Mind

Forever is a long, long time.
But I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side.
Tell me, everyday I get to wake up to that smile.
I wouldn’t mind it at all.
I wouldn’t mind it at all.

Hedley - Perfect

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying'
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

These are my current obsessions. We are all allowed to have obsessions, right?

Gentlemen

I honestly think one of the hardest things to do is raise Godly children. Granted, I have never raised any kids of my own, but from what I hear, it must be pretty difficult.

Whilst on Pinterest, I found this pin. Before birth, God decides whether each one of us will be a boy or a girl. For those who receive the correct genes, they become boys at birth. Then, when they turn 18, they fully become men (according to the government, at least). However, becoming a gentleman is a much greater decision.

Gentlemen:

• Respect girls and women
• Hold traditional values of holding open doors and paying for dates with girls
• Prefer to know much more about a girl on the inside than what she looks like on the outside
• Love their moms
• Are willing to make sacrifices for their girl without considering them sacrifices
• Focuses on how to grow in his relationship with the Lord at the same time his girl is growing in her relationship with the Lord
• Is understanding with a gentle heart and easily forgives

I have a gentleman. The funny thing is that most girls like to chase after guys who are not good for them at one point in their lives. I personally have done that twice. Once during Sophomore year of high school, then the second guy during Freshman year of college. Eventually, God led me to a gentleman.

If you have ever heard "God Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts, the lyrics are stunningly perfect. 

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Never settle for less than a gentleman. I promise you he comes around, even when you least expect it. God knows what He's doing and he put a gentleman on this Earth for every girl. We just have to be open to waiting for him. 

Complications

I have three more days of camp left. That means only three more days of waking up "too early" to spend an entire day with 1st and 2nd grade students. Three more days of the most unrewarding job I have ever had. The only thing I am going to miss is my lucky draw of great co-workers. I think we all feel similarly about our job, so we bond over this. 

However, I am in a situation I never thought I would ever be in. Matt is convinced and I may just be convinced as well, that I have a co-worker who is hitting on me. However, with how much I talk about Matt with my co-workers, I thought it was obvious I am happily taken. I guess not. 

Let's get the facts straight first. He has visited me at my second job three times because he said he feels bad that I am lonely at work. He visits my classroom after camp every day if he is working at the same location as me, just to see how my day went. And today, I needed a favor and he bent over backwards for me to solve my problem. I seriously didn't ask for that, he just did that. When I am with my co-workers, he brings up my boyfriend frequently and somehow remembers what I say about Matt.

My view: I think he is a nice guy. I work with mostly girls and I know he is nice toward them too. I have the belief that he is just a nice guy like that. 

Matt's view: he is chasing after me, though he knows I am taken. 

This situation has actually caused disagreements between Matt and I because we both want the situation to be done with. I fear that I unintentionally lead him on, possibly to the point where I am flirting with him. Matt fears he is being overprotective of me and untrusting of me. 

I am not sure what this actually is, but I hope it ends shortly. My co-worker is a nice guy who could get any other girl, but me. I am 100% taken and no guy will change that. I hope this situation has opened Matt's eyes to see that I am totally happy being with him and not any other guy. 

My prayer is that my co-worker stops visiting me at my second job when my summer job ends and he finds himself a good girl for him. This girl will not be that girl.